The News is Out

Nonni was the first to learn of the new addition to our little family.  Through Skype, we had Ethan show her the front of his t-shirt.  I had him turn around and gave her some time to read the words on the back.  Immediately after she read the words, "I'm going to be a big brother" the computer crashed from a dead battery!  I didn't even get to see or hear her reaction until after I reboot the computer.

We went to Chris' parents house on Saturday to celebrate Don's birthday.  As soon as we walked in the door, Kathy noticed the front of Ethan's shirt.  She thought it meant that Ethan was getting a puppy but didn't pay much attention.  After what felt like forever, I pulled Ethan over and whispered for him to have Mimi take his shirt off.  As she did, she noticed writing on the back and read the words aloud.  Afterward she immediately said, "What?  Is this real?!"  She was pretty excited!

On Sunday, I sent Dad a text telling him we were coming over to drop off some things.  When we arrived, it was only Dad home.  We walked in, talked, got out toys, talked some more, had Ethan point out his shirt, and never once got a reaction from Dad.  Eventually I had Ethan take the shirt off and STILL no reaction!  Eventually I had to say, "Dad, read his shirt!"  I think Dad was embarrassed for not noticing.  Linda came home and noticed right away!

We then Skyped with Steve and attempted to show him Ethan's shirt but the connection sucked and he was in the middle of a bar.  Instead, I just took a picture of the back of Ethan's shirt and texted it to him and Josh.  Eventually he figured it out and was pretty excited!

My first appointment is Monday, October 3rd.

Here We Go Again!

After trying for 4 cycles, Ethan is finally going to be a big brother!  At this point I'm only 11DPO so we are cautious.  EDD 5/28 or 6/1 depending on which date you use.

Had we not been trying, I never would've known I was pregnant this time.  The only indication I had was a craving for Chinese food this past weekend.  At the beginning of my pregnancy with Ethan, I was constantly hungry, needing to eat just about every 2 hours.  My boobs also hurt like crazy with him and I feel nothing this time.  Could this be an indication of a girl?!

I'll be calling the doctor today during my plan time to set up the initial doctor's visit.  We plan on telling family this weekend.  Ethan will be wearing a shirt announcing the big news to everybody!

Hold on tight!  This ride is gonna be fun!

Downward Spiral

Life is tough right now.  Chris and I have been TTC #2 for 3 cycles now and it just ain't happenin'.  I started with the intention of having a March baby and have had 0 success.  Timing has been perfect due to the fact that I'm charting and still, negative.  Looking back, things were so easy with Ethan.  Why isn't that the case now?  I already feel like a f*^* up with this whole baby making thing.  I struggle in my head about whether or not we should go on to round 4, potentially giving us a late May baby.  That would give me approximately 10 weeks off before going back to school the following year.  I just hate the rigidity of trying to make this happen at the right time.  I know I need to sit back, relax, and let God take control but it's just too hard.

On top of that, Mom called yesterday to tell me they found shadows on both breasts during her mammogram.  Unfortunately she is laid off at the moment and her health insurance is about to end at the end of the month.  I am scared for her and what the future may hold.  She has 0 support from her man friend and absolutely nobody near her to offer support.  I'd like to have her up here while going through all this but I just don't know how feasible that is.  It would be a HUGE adjustment and I question if it would make things even more financially difficult for Chris and me.

While I had a fun, relaxing summer with Ethan, I regret the fact that I spent so much time peeing on various sticks to get pregnant/ see if I was pregnant.  That's time and money I can't get back.

I'm laying my trust in God's hands and trying so hard not to get down.