"Loving Two"
I walk along holding your two year old hand, basking in the glow of our
magical relationship. Suddenly, I feel a kick from within, as if to
remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever
love another child as I love you? Then she is born, and I watch you. I
watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me
before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me."
And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't." I know, in fact, that I
never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as
an intruder on the precious relationship that we once shared. A
relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I
find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm
afraid to let you see me enjoying her- as though I am betraying you. But
then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to
protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are
settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us
is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times
we shared, just we two. There are new times -- only now, we are three. I
watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch
each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see
how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to
realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to
you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with
both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you
are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my
amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you--only
differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I
now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of
you--you each have your own supply. I love you both. And I thank you
both for blessing my life. ~Author unknown
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